SM: Normalizing the normal guy

Every once in a while our Sex and Masturbation, I mean, Relationships experts will answer our reader's emails. Please bear with us while we try to fix you.

This week, with Mr. Normal Guy.

"hello,

I'm a railroad tycon and I'm 84.

I've been dating this beautiful 23 years hot model girl for two years now, but we haven't had sex yet because she says she isn't ready, and I totally respect that.
I love her so much that when she had financial diffulties after her dance parlour went bakrupt, I invited her to live in one of my thirteen apartments and am financing her pricy new project, which she doesn't want to tell me what it is because it's a (big) suprise.

Since she was too lonely (I travel a lot), her best friend, John, spends more time with her with my consent. He takes her everywere, and is also her private massagist and tennis instructor. He's a really cool guy that takes care of my love for me. I'm even thinking about offering him another car to thank him, again. Somehow the others I gave him are not enough, he's really into cars, what can I say...

The whole not having sex thing is more or less ok with me. And she seems to cope really well, specially when I'm away for a long time.
But a couple of days ago our butler told me that she and John are...you know...doing the whole oodly doodly thing! I was shocked! I fired my butler immediatly for even thinking that this could be possible, but I think it's not enough, maybe I should hire someone to "make him disappear" and leave us 3 alone...

what do you think I should do?"


Dear Mr. Railroad Tycoon who’s 84.

It’s well known that age gives you wisdom as a result of all life experiences. But ooh not you.

Where da’hell did you grow up?! You little piece of old sun dried human shit! I got a better idea: Give me the money! I could take care of a hot model, You freak!!

Mr. very upset Normal Guy




Neither the writer of this message nor hipbroken can be held liable for your actions after you have read this. Be stupid as much as you want but don't come crying for daddy if something goes wrong. Oh, wait a minute, then again you won't be able to come crying for daddy coz' you won't have any money left, now will you...