Movie: Eragon by Mr.Piggy

Hero n.1: Eragon, duh
Hero n.2: saphira the dragon
Babe: Arya, not to be mistaken with the other Aria (although I wish)
Hero’s teacher: that dude with a beard that used to make great movies
Bad guy n.1: Shade, the chocolate loving, colgate hating sorcerer
Bad guy n.2: John Malkovich… why John??!! Why!!??

Sinusitis or synopsis, whatever you prefer:
It seems that if you hold on to a blue egg the size of a rubgy ball, you’ll get a dragon with a sexy voice and save the world.

Speaking about the dragon, when I was growing up, back in 1940 something, dragons were these mystical beasts that destroyed everything wherever they went. Somehow, somewhere along the line, somebody understood that they were actually misunderstood animals that just needed some love and affection.

I mean all of the sudden, dragons lost their dangerous charm and became fun loving creatures who just wanted to use lipstick and make out with donkeys…
I blame it all on the invention of psychotherapy and Shrek!

The dragon in this movie is not far from that, believe me. It, or she, even does that “wuhaa” thing American soldiers do, after her “rider” (pun not intended!) does a speech. Damn, I loves ze Americans, they make the best pre battle speeches ever. I wonder what they do before sex…

Anyway. As I was watching this movie, I came up with an invention: a special seat inside the movie theater, that you could just lift up and “VOILA!” a toilet seat would appear. It would make things a whole lot easier as far as waiting for the horrible movie (your date chose) to end.
Think about it, time goes faster when you’re sitting on a toilet seat…huh?right?right?

I think this invention would revolutionize Hollywood, I mean, I even thought about what to do with the smell: once you were done, a piece of metal heated at 180 degrees Celsius would come in contact with rose petal water and release a nice and appeasing fragrance….Amazing isn’t it…? I know… Well I give all credit to Eragon, the dragon “rider”, this movie has truly inspired me, even though I slept during most of it.

Lics: 4/10, I’d give more if I hadn’t fallen asleep